It’s blizzarding out, but I started to get cabin fever and needed to get out of my apartment.  So I headed over to another apartment – a condo, to be more precise – much, much nicer than my own on West 47th Street near 10th Avenue.  This post originally was supposed to be just about the open house per the flier above, but I guess it’s morphed into a feature on Hell’s Kitchen.  But, we’ll start with the open house!

Dubbed “The 505,” it’s a low-rise luxury building in Hell’s Kitchen.  Now, normally I’m not all about real estate: apartments are too m*f* expensive to buy, renting is a waste of money, and it’s just a too much stress for someone who is barely breaking even in life.  But, I am a huge advocate of Hell’s Kitchen, because I think it’s a great neighborhood!  Great food and restaurants, with fun bars and cool hangouts, it’s kind of like the neglected, older step-child of the East Village.

Slightly older demographic than the East Village, only by a few years, but that’s only beacuse we don’t have those pesky NYU kids running around.  The cheap eats aren’t quite as bountiful as they are in the EV, but you can still find some gems.  Example: for cheap, authentic Mexican food, Tehuitzingo Mexican Deli is the place to be.  (You can tell it’s authentic just by the fact that I have to read each syllable slowly in order to say the name.)  For cheap drinks and delicious sliders and fries, 123BSB is my go-to bar when it’s not completely swamped.  And Mee Noodles for almost China-priced Chinese food.

There are tons of mid-tier restaurants (Thai, sushi, Indian, Mexican, Cuban, Greek, Afghan, German – name it!) that won’t break the bank either to dine in or take-out.  And of course, there are some “nicer” places, like the recently opened Agua Dulce, and I recently made it to Churrascaria Plataforma for endless amounts of meat!!  Had to be rolled back up 9th Ave.  You may think that it’s too close to the Theater District or Times Square, but really the tourists only go as far as 9th Ave during rush hour, and after around 7:00 pm it clears up and is back to the normal neighborhood bar goers.

Anyway, back to the point.  So I checked out The 505 to see if there are any affordable places that I could “invest” in as opposed to throwing away my rent money.  The penthouse where they held the open house was a 2 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom, + study, + private rooftop access for $2.7 million Oof! But hmm, let me see if there are other listings available!  So the cheapest on the menu was $399,000 for a studio, or a 1 BR starting at $572,000.  More reasonable, perhaps…?

Anything about $10K just sounds like Monopoly money to me, so I decided to look into Griffin Court, which is still under construction on 54th Street and 10th Ave , about 45 steps away from my doorstep.  I checked their listings, and their penthouses are even more ridiculous starting at $3.6 million, but I guess you do get 3 bedrooms.  You can snag your own studio starting at $735,000, or for a few dozens of thousands more, you could upgrade to a 1 BR starting at$875,000.  Want to be my neighbor and let me come over??

Well, these numbers are too large for me to process.  And, there are tons of high-rise luxury buildings popping up, around the lower 40s around 11th and 12th Ave.  But really, “upper” Hell’s Kitchen in the 50s is where you want to be, and anything West of 10th Ave is a pain.  So pretty much, I’m just saying my local is ideal, but Hell’s Kitchen in general is a fun time.

Don’t believe me?  NYMag and Curbed said so, too!

I probably shouldn’t have divulged my secrets otherwise the newcomers will drive up rent prices.   So stay away – unless you plan on inviting me over!